Week 8 Power Rankings


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Week 8 Power Rankings

A real bitter power ranking by the hateful Semolina Pilchards. If you don’t like curses then don’t even bother to read any more. Just navigate the fuck off this page.

Suicide Kings- One of the ‘Fuckentino’s". Having a great year. Averages more points that every other team in the league with a 116 average. Looking good for them to finish the regular season in first place, but when the playoffs come around, may be in trouble based on their players. Again, they have built one of the best regular season teams. Glad I’m done with them. Fuckers.

Dragon Slayers- Well, the Fuckentino’s provide a one- two punch, and I have the misfortune of playing the Slayers in 2 weeks. Another real good team, who is currently riding the longest wining streak of 5 games- however he still can’t fucking spell!

Jaguars- Man, I have to play them this week. There is no question in my mind I will be calling them the Jerkoffs! Terry always builds a great team, and I always have the misfortune of being in his division. I am virtually guaranteed 3 losses a year before we even draft! Based on my probable loss to Terry this week, let me just send him my best compliments, F U.

Sandbaggers- How they are 6-2, I will never understand. I know I say this week after week, but incredibly, they keep winning. However I know they really suck cause they are one of the teams I somehow beat this year. So, I won’t be too rough on you Suckey Dickheads, cause I am putting you at #4.

TNT Explosion- Goddamn it all. TNT Rectal Lotion as usual have a good team. They always make the playoffs, although it always seems to be as the 6th seed. Why the Fuck am I always in the toughest division. The three teams I have to play are 3, 4, and 5 in the Power Rankings. You miserable Fucks!

Mighty Caesars- Well, these gorilla fuckers have taken over 6th place on their own. They no longer have me to contend with cause of the shitty fucking schedule I have. Their competition for the sixth spot are the Mother Fucking Show me the Money. And that team really fucking sucks yet somehow are only a game out of the last playoff position. Most likely I play the Caesars after I finish with the Suicide Duce Staley Fuckups (loss), Jaguars (future loss), and Slayers (future loss). So Ted, you fucking bastard. Thanks a lot for not getting back to me for one of your great QB’s. Fucking Bob ended up ripping me off cause I SUCK AT PICKING QB’S.

Show Me the Fucking Money- What the Fuck? I keep getting these fucking emails from Goydish for his bullshit DVD club. He signed up his Fucking Dog so he could get free DVD’s. Whatever you do, don’t give him a fucking referral if you sign up for his club. Fuck you Mike for moving ahead of me in the power rankings.

C&D TD Makers- I like Dennis and Cher. And they are good sports. It’s sad to seem them lose four in a row, but based on my admiration for their character, they move up to the 8th spot. Good luck this week to you guys.

Undertakers- Undertakers, Underfuckers, that is enough from me. Darryl is a good guy except for his fixation on ass’s. I hope that doesn’t mean what I think it means. (You are married to a FEMALE aren’t you Darryl?) While I certainly am happy his team is no better than mine this year, he has been just as screwed as me. Scores a lot, but the teams he plays score a lot against him. Darryl, just start paying attention to your lineups and you can do better.

TBFC- The Best Fucking Cocksuckers, is what I hear from Fleet officials. I am happy they suck. But Greg does write the best fucking Mr. Fantasy’s. Just for this, he deserves to have a better team. But unfortunately, this year he really sucks at trading. Thought he could rip off Bob again, like he did last year for Ahman Green. Hey Smitty, I know for a fact Bob is enjoying Harrison’s scoring while you watch Keyshawn suck! And if I remember, you didn’t even play him when he scored his lone TD. Sucker!

Semolina Pilchards- Fuck all of you. I have a pretty damn good team. Only three teams average more weekly points than me, yet all you Fuckers have your best scoring weeks against me. It was inevitable, now I am leading the league in being scored against. I can’t win a game scoring 99 fucking points a week, when the rest of you fuckers score 109 against me. As I said earlier this week, Double F.U. And as usual I score more than everyone except for the Fucking team I play. Fuck you again Rick!

What’s the Point- It really is not fair to Bob that he has to flounder this year. He made some nice moves to improve his team, but as I said above, how can you win a fucking game when everyone has career games against you? The leaders in being scored against are the Pilchards and Undertakers (tied at 109) followed by the Point at 105. I am pretty sure I speak for Bob and Darryl when I wish a hearty Fuck you to this fucking deplorable and detestable league.