Week 2 Mr. Fantasy by da Pilchards
Gotta start off the DTFFLís Week 2 Mr. Fantasy with, Fucking Michael Goydish and his fucking DVD email spams.
The story behind that line, at the draft, Mike G told Mr. Fantasy that he, his wife, and the kids were searching for his name on Google and that when they did, all that came up was "fucking Goydish and his dvdís". While it was a barrel of laughs to Mr. Fantasy and he hopes this line makes it into search engines, the whole "fucking Goydish" thing appears to be a hoax perpetrated by Show Me the Moneyís Head Coach and GM. When Mr. Fantasy searched for Michael Goydish at Google, no fuckís came up. The only two hits that seemed to be relevant were to old links at the tripod web site, for pages that arenít even there anymore!!!! Finally, it appears that search engines have no desire to list dtffl.com cause they ainít done it yet! So enough with the warm up jokes and on to the weekís predictions for the DTFFL, where they do play for pay!
TBFC (-12) vs. Semolina Pilchards
Well looky here. Smitty and Mulcahy get off to a fast start as does Weber. Both teams are 1-0 for a 1000 winning percentage which may be the first time in league history that both these teams start 1-0 in the same year. Of course, one of these teams is going to go rapidly downhill and fall to .500 at the end of this game, and Mr. Fantasy has to lean towards former Champs, TBFC winning and Pilchard losing. Mostly because of all of Smittyís bitching about the past and having once won the championship. The only difference between then and now, is that Mr. Fantasy seems to remember Smittyís little nephew helping out with the draft. And we all saw what happened last year without the little nephewís assistance! Based on the NFL matchups, TBFC has the edge, especially with their roster loaded with Oakland players going up against the Bungles. TBFC jumps out to lead their division when they beat the Pilchards 101-89.
C&D TD Makers (-7) vs. Suicide Kings
Both of these teams got spanked last week by their division foes, TBFC and the Pilchards respectively. C&D is used to the slow start, but the Kings arenít. Yet it looks like the Kings are gonna be in for a real rough start going 0-2 and falling two games behind the division leader. Itís tough to come back from, but Mr. Fantasy can attest that with the right free agent moves, you can make the playoffs. While the Aintís Defense is nothing great, Seattle still looked good last week, and it may turn out to be a shrewd move of C&D building their team to be the Seahhawks and Lions. At least this year they arenít the Jets! The Kings are screwed with their QB position. I, for one, was happy when Rick boldly picked the degrading Favre with an early draft pick. This left the rest of us the better QBís! And Favre is really screwed now that he lost both his starting WRís to injury in Week 1. Not to mention, as far as Mr. Fantasy is concerned, thanks for believing in all the hype and picking David Boston. Hope ya keep playing him against me. Heís always outta the game by the second half due to an injury. Mr. Fantasy predicts that the Kings playoff run ends this year as they fall to C&D 87-80.
Whatís the Point (-3) vs. Undertakers
Damn, but the Undertakers got crushed last week. Honestly, thatís what they deserve. Who would let someone in their division pick for them? Hey Darryl, all of us (and especially Terry) had a good laugh at the Muhsin Muhammad pick! Terry was laughing and laughing and saying "Iím guaranteed three wins with Darrylís team". The best move Terry made was when he swapped 3rd round picks with you. He said you traded your third for his and future considerations. We tried to call you to verify this, but you didnít answer your phone. The Point kicked some big time butt last week when they beat up on the Jaguars. Bob has gotta be feeliní fine for not only spanking Terry, but heís gonna be stepping out on Darryl this week. Now that Mr. Fantasy thinks about it, Bob was sitting next to Terry during the draft so maybe he too had something to do with that Muhsin Muhammad pick!! All joking aside, both these teams are pretty decent. Looking over their rosters, they are very evenly matched up with decent QBís, each of them having a top 10 RB and a top 10 WR. The only difference is this weekís NFL matchups. The Point seem to have a better chance than the Undertakers. This game should be close and has the potential to be high scoring. Mr. Fantasy likes the Point to pull it out with a 122-119 win, with the Undertakers score good enough to beat any other team in the league.
Jaguars (-2) vs. Sandbaggers
The Sandbaggers rolled to an overwhelming victory last week, winning the weekly high score while the Jaguars lost their first game. Mr. Fantasy thinks poor Terry had to spend so much time figuring out Darrylís picks, that he couldnít spend enough time on his team. Then again, perhaps itís a trend, cause the 9th to 12th picks all lost last week. And it really hurts to lose your top receiver. Sandbaggers have built a team that certainly has the potential to win several of the weekly high scores this year, however, they seem to have the potential to also pick up several low scores. Both of these teams seem to be pretty evenly matched, but we all know Terry, and there is no way heís gonna let Nick jump out to a two game lead over him. Mr. Fantasy senses that Terryís #2 pick, Donovan McNabb, comes to life this week, giving the Jags just enough points to pull out the close victory over the Sandbaggers. Jags ship the Baggers "Parcel Post- Shipping Charges Due" back to the UPS hub very unhappy, when they win 87-85.
Mighty Caesars (-8) vs. Dragon Slayers
Mighty Caesars cruised to a win last week against division foe TNT, with a point output that was not to impressive, but good enough to win. As we know, the Caesars always pull out to a hot start, but it is the second half when they fall apart. Dragon Slayers were absolutely crushed last week by Show Me the Money. Being that the Slayers had the low score of the week, the SLAYERS ARE OFFICALLY THE LEAGUE DOORMATS. Congratulations C&D for making it off the list. While the Slayers have Manning and Harrison, who both should do better as the season progresses, they donít have much more. Sure they have Fred Taylor. But heís not gonna get the goal line carries and most likely heís gonna miss a few games during the year. While Mr. Fantasy feels this may be the most boring game of the week, it wonít be that way to the Caesars when they only score 57 points, but thatís still gonna be enough to beat the Slayers who are gonna start getting that sinking feeling that their team sucks but they still gotta do all the goddamn updates every morning. Caesars stick a banana up the Slayers ass and then mash it when they beat them 57-49.
Show Me the Money (-4) vs. TNT Explosion
Maybe this is gonna be the year. Fucking Michael Goydish pulled out the big fucking victory last week when he mauled the Slayers and Fucking Michael Goydish only scored 76 points! TNT lost to the Caesars and didnít even break 70 points last week! And TNT appears to be really screwed with their QBís. Iím sorry but Johnson and Plumber just ainít gonna cut it. And when Vick comes back, Mr. Fantasy finds it hard to believe that heís gonna be like the Vick of last year. Mr. Fantasy seeís no scrambling and he doesnít see much accuracy either. Johnson will probably be the better QB this year, but honestly, he shouldnít be on a roster. Time for TNT to start playing musical QB! Show Me has QB issues too, but they still won last week. I can pretty much guarantee that Fucking Michael Goydish was still cheering every punishing hit Warner took from the Giants D!! Fucking Michael Goydish is again gonna be cheering when he stays tied for the division lead by beating TNT 82-78.