Week 6B Mr. Fantasy


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Week 6 Mr. Fantasy

 

By the Genius of All Mr. Fantasy’s

 

This morning I saw an email from Martino that STEVE BINDLER OF TNT IMPLOSION did not submit Mr. Fantasy.  Martino asked me to call him, which I will do a little later.  But being that I am up early in the morning, although I can’t understand why since on Thursday I worked until 1:30 am and went back in Friday at 8:00 until 6:00 pm., I thought, “Why not just write up a Week 6 Mr. Fantasy and show those guys how to write a real one.”  Even though I had no plans to write it, you will see the thought and effort I put into it .  Even though my teams have sucked for 4 years now- although losing #1 picks to injury for the season in consecutive years doesn’t help, I still am willing to be a MARTYR for the league.  Especially, as Darryl said, with my continual donations to the pot.  Anyway, I am sure I entertained you plenty already (I know- don’t bother to let me know it was boring), so here we go with a Week 6 Special Edition Semolina Fantastical Mr. Fantasy.

 

Sandbaggers (+18) at Jaguars

 

Can I tell you how sick I am of Terry and the Jaguars?  Every year he has a goddamn good team, every year I seem to be in his goddamn division, and every year, when his key players are on a bye, the backups always perform goddamn admirably.  I really believe that Terry may be THE BEST fantasy owner I have ever had the misfortune of playing.  Frankly, he will probably beat the Baggers, TNT, and Pilchards each 3 times this season.  That is an automatic 9 wins.  I’ve given up on having any division chance.  I am fighting for a Wildcard.  Sandbaggers started out well with a 3-1 record, but quite frankly, I really don’t see them going on to do much.  It’s not that they have such a bad team on paper, but they are suffering from the Rams being awful.  Jag’s lose their main man, Donovan McNabb this week, who has been just scorching for fantasy scoring, but I am pretty certain that their backup, Brunell, will have a great game this week, cause the Jags are playing him.  Baggers QB position is just awful and is the poison of his team.  Atlanta or Pittsburgh.  Mr. Fantasy is not sold on Tommy Maddux (however you spell his name) and remembers him with the Giants when Dan Reeves was the head coach.  Maddux was terrible.  With Garner on their team, Jags don’t need anyone else at RB, except Garner is hurt.  Still, as I mentioned before, no matter whom the Jags plug in, they will be great.  While the Jags will probably have a down week for them, they should still be able to beat the Baggers, who will most likely stop submitting lineups in about 6 weeks when the lose all those games straight and fall to a 3-8 record.  Jags win small, but still win, 95-77.

 

Semolina Pilchards (-8) at TNT Explosion

 

Pilchards have been boasting all week about how they will crush TNT.  TNT has not been heard from all week.  Pilchards have been cranking up the boasts after they won their second game at a cost of  $27.50 (statistical analysis of total predicted transaction moves over the course of 14 weeks at an average cost of $4.63 multiplied by the number of times the Earth will orbit the Sun in the 42 century AD, IF there is a galactic war with strange alien species).  The problem for the Pilchards this week is THAT THEY HAVE YET TO BEAT TNT!  Mr. Fantasy must remind the Pilchards that they were blown out in Week 1 by TNT.  Somehow, and Mr. Fantasy doesn’t know how, TNT has won three games.  A quick analysis of their roster shows why Mr. Fantasy cannot believe they have won 3.  Their first two picks, RB’s George and Martin have just been awful so far.  It is funny how so many of the early picks have not been that good this year.  As a matter of fact, let’s interrupt this game analysis, and take a look at the first round of picks for this season.

 

----SPECIAL DRAFT ANLAYSIS OF THE FIRST ROUND BY MR. FANTASY---

 

1.  Sandbaggers                        Faulk                Not worthy of the #1 pick this year.

2.  C&D TD Makers                Alexander         1 good game so far in 5 weeks.

3.  Show Me the $                    SF QB             Not impressive.  McNabb better.

4.  Pilchards                             SL QB             Awful.  Hurt.  Total Bust.

5.  What’s the Point                  Indy QB           Average.  Traded to Pilchards.

6.  Caesars                               A. Green          Again average.  Nothing special.

7.  TNT                                    E. George         Below average.  Worthy of bench.

8.  Kings                                  Owens             Done nothing except by running.

9.  Slayers                                R. Williams       Awesome.  1 of only 2 good picks.

10. Jags                                    Moss                Awful.  Second worst pick after Pilchards.

11. Undertakers                       GB QB            Excellent.  2nd good pick of this round.

12. TBFC                                Minny QB        Average.  Moss makes them bad.

 

As you can see, most of the picks have not been that good.  It is still early, but performance so far probably is a good indicator.

 

This week, most likely, all Pilchards players go at 1 pm most likely.  Traditionally this has worked out well for them.  However due to injuries and NFL matchups, it really seems like TNT will probably win this game this week.  Even so, Pilchards have scored more and have the #1 WR, so they have to be favored.  Mr. Fantasy WILL TORTURE the Pilchards and pick TNT to win 65-64, as the Pilchards top players put together a bad week.

 

C&D TD Makers (-17) at Undertakers

 

Neither of these teams have been too impressive so far and they both have the misfortune as 4 other teams do, of being in a division where the leader has won 5 games.  C&D are 3 games behind and the Undertakers are 4 games behind, with their lone victory coming in Week 2.  C&D has an on and off team, but will probably win enough to make the Playoffs this year it appears.  C&D have won 2 pots this year, which are why they won 2 games.  And one of those pots is from beating the team with the second highest score that week.  Undertakers have not scored all that much this year, averaging only 82 points, but opponents are averaging a WHOPPING 120 points a week against the Undertakers.  This equates to LOSING BY AN AVERAGE OF 38 POINTS A WEEK.  Whewwww, hard to digest.  We would feel sorry for the Undertakers, but they really deserve to take a year off from the Playoffs.  C&D should have more than enough to counter the Undertakers, although the Undertakers do have GB QB’s throwing the ball for them.  C&D moves to a .500 record this week and the Udertakers fall to 1-5 even though they will score a yearly high, when C&D wins 127-110.

 

What’s the Point (+14) at Suicide Kings

 

What’s the Point improved their team last week by trade, thereby earning their first victory.  While they gave up Peyton Manning, they received Travis Henry who has been absolutely incredible fantasy- wise this year and Rod Smith who is always a high scorer.  The Suicide Kings have just been on a roll this year.  While their early draft picks have been as weak as other teams, their backups have been great!  It seems like their team is made up of players from some of the highest scoring NFL offenses this year.  By putting up the two primary KC scorers against the Point, it is looking tough this week for Bob.  And being that Couch is hurt, he probably will play Collins so I know, Bob is hoping that Collins has another great game this week.  I especially like the thought of Bob rooting for the Giants this week as emotions tug between his Cowboy NFL team and his possible Fantasy starter, Kerry Collins from the Giants.  The Suicide Kings are just looking too good right now, so they should win this game, although Mr. Fantasy does not think it will be easy.  For a second week in a row, the Point will score over 100, but it won’t be enough.  Kings win 119-105.

 

Show Me the Money (+20) at TBFC

 

One of these teams is going to win their second game of the year.  Could it be Show Me who dropped their last four after winning in Week 1?  Mr. Fantasy does not think so.  TBFC will move up in respectability as they drop Show Me into last place in their Division.  While Show Me have SF QB, Mr. Fantasy thinks TBFC’s NE QB whom they received from the Point will be better.  It is kinda funny when you think of it, that the Point had two of the best QB’s and traded both of them.  It’s also funny how once they got them off their roster, they won a game.  Shoot, the Point got Marvin Harrison and Rod Smith by trading their QB’s.  I would not like to go up against the Point’s Wideouts!  Show Me have absolutely nothing at the RB position this week with A. Thomas off.  I bet they wish they had kept Dillon now, since Tim Brown has not been all that spectacular this year.  Although TBFC have only won 1 game this year, they still average a lot more offensive points than Show Me do.  TBFC gets out of the cellar and climbs to a 2-4 record when they beat Show Me, 92-72.

 

Mighty Caesars (+7) at Dragon Slayers

 

Wow.  Both of these teams have some incredible high scoring players.  Dragon Slayers have been very good so far, although Mr. Fantasy still believes that since they are the “New Commish”, their team will soon start a downhill slide, however, it does not appear it will be this week.  Caesars have finally benched their great NO QB for their even better Buffalo QB who will be going up against Slayers Oakland QB.  Can I say enough about Oakland this year?  They have been incredible for fantasy points.  And not only do the Slayers have the #1 scoring QB, they also have the #1 scoring defense/ special teams.  Guess who?  Oakland, of course.  And I still haven’t mentioned their top RB, Ricky Williams.  The Slayers do have a good team, so probably they will have some major injuries in the next couple of weeks, since they have taken over the Commish duties.  The Dragon Slayers just have too much power this week for the Caesars to win.  I am certain that when they get to work Monday, Martino will have a lot of crap talk going Ted’s way.  Slayers keep their stranglehold on their division, when they win 137-130 this week, as the Caesars will get to enjoy the suffering that comes with losing your game when you scored more than any other team in the league.