Week 17 Mr. Fantasy


Home ] Up ]

 

Week 17 Mr. Fantasy

By "The Semolina Pilchards"

 

Playoff Update

Clinched Division and Positioning in Draft:

Suicide Kings- Clinched Diviision and #1 Overall Pick

Dragon Slayers- Clinched Division and #2 Overall Pick

Sandbaggers- Clinched Division and #3 Overall Pick

Clinched a Wildcard spot:

Semolina Pilchards

Jaguars

Alive for the final Wildcard spot:

TNT Explosion

Show Me the Money

Wildcard Scenarios

Semolina Pilchards- A win clinches the #4 Overall Pick.

Jaguars- A win clinches the #4 or #5 Overall Pick

TNT Explosion- A win clinches at least the #5 Overall Pick

Show Me the Money- A win AND a TNT loss clinches the #6 Overall Pick.

If the Pilchards lose and the Jags win, the Jags pick 4th based on record. Then the Pilchards would pick 5th based on tiebreakers. For the 6th pick, if Show Me wins, they earn it. If they lose, TNT backs into it.

If the Pilchards lose and TNT wins, TNT picks 4th based on tiebreakers. Then the Pilchards would pick 5th based on tiebreakers. The Jags would pick 6th based on tiebreakers. Show Me would be eliminated win or lose.

If the Pilchards win and the Jags win, Pilchards pick 4th based on tiebreakers. Jags would pick 5th. For the 6th pick, if Show Me wins, they earn it. If they lose, TNT backs into it.

Pilchards vs.

JAGS 2-1

TNT 1-2

SHOW ME 1-0

Jaguars vs.

PILCHARDS 1-2

TNT 1-1*******Final Game Week 17********

SHOW ME 1-0

Tnt Explosion vs.

PILCHARDS 2-1

JAGS 1-1********Final Game Week 17*********

SHOW ME 1-0

Show Me the Money vs.

PILCHARDS 0-1

TNT 0-1

JAGUARS 0-1

INCREDIBLE STATISTIC: If TNT can clinch a playoff spot, the entire Walter Payton Division will make the Playoffs with only the Division winner making the playoffs from the other two divisions. I think this would be the only time this has happened in the league. It is a testament to these teams if they all make the playoffs.

GAME OF THE WEEK

Jaguars (+12) at TNT Explosion

This is an extremely critical game for these two teams and Show Me the Money. Show Me NEEDS TNT to lose and they need to win in order to make the playoffs. However, Mr. Fantasy doesn’t think this’ll happen this week. TNT players are on a roll as their NFL teams attempt to make the playoffs and the Jags have critical injuries to both their QB’s. Mr. Fantasy’s guess is that the Jags will play their Philly QB’s this week vs. TNT’s Jets QB’s and while the Jets are going against the GB defense, with GB’s best DB out (Sharper), Pennington likely will have a much better game that the Jags 3rd string Philly QB. RB’s also go TNT’s way with Eddie George and Curtis Martin going up against Tiki Barber and Charlie Garner. TNT’s WR’s Hines Ward and Tai Streets can probably match up to Jags WR’s of Randy Moss and Derrick Mason. The Jags need to win for playoff positioning only as they have already clinched, but TNT needs a big win to guarantee a playoff spot. Mr. Fantasy thinks the Jags will be ground up like beef chuck by TNT as TNT rolls into the playoffs with possibly the 4th overall pick when they beat the Jags 97-85.

Semolina Pilchards (-22) at Sandbaggers

Sandbaggers have already clinched their division whereas the Pilchards have somehow clinched a wildcard with an incredible six week streak of going 5-1. As a matter of fact, if you remember, the Pilchards said in Week 6 when they were 2-4 that they would finish up the year 10-7. Of course, the entire league scoffed at this. However, if the Pilchards can finish up the season with a 5 game win streak, they will indeed finish 10-7. Worst case scenario is a 9-8 record which is still good enough to clinch the 5th overall draft pick as they have won most critical head to head games. Sandbaggers Atlanta QB should take care of Pilchards Indy QB who has not been impressive this year, short of last week when he had to throw all game due to Indy being crushed by the Giants. Baggers RB’s Faulk and Michael Bennett should handle the Pilchards backs of Tomlinson (who has been great) and McAllister (who has been wretched for the past 5 weeks- come on, if he can only get 20 yards rushing against the Bungles, then there is a problem). Baggers Rice and Bruce at WR should also handle whoever the Pilchards put up, cause the Pilchards seem to play the wrong WR’s week after week. Baggers have more than enough to show the Pilchards who is boss as they wipe them out with a 110-88 victory.

What’s the Point (+18) vs. C&D TD Makers

Both of these teams have been on a tear lately, although now it is a little to late. Point have won 3 in a row to move out of the cellar and to drop Two Bankers Fucking Children (TBFC) into the last place position, whereas C&D has done so well lately, they are going to fall just short of the playoffs, possibly by only 1 game out. Most likely C&D has locked up the 4th pick in next year’s draft. The QB match up this week is questionable. C&D has fallen on hard times at QB, with the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd string QB’s in St. Louis all injured. This week it is a 4th string QB starting and he is a big unknown. Of course, he may be the next Warner, who Mr. Fantasy believes will be OUT of St. Louis next year. Point has Cleveland QB who is off and on, and being that this week is a critical game for the Browns, he will probably be off. WR battle is pretty even with the Point playing Harrison and Rod Smith against C&D’s Burress and Chambers. I’m pretty sure that C&D is probably still gloating that stupid TBFC cut Burress. That move is just about as good as their move giving up Marvin Harrison. The RB battle is also even with the Points Fred Taylor and Travis Henry going up against Alexander and Shipp. Both these guys have really been coming on lately. Alexander with his 17 TD’s is no longer a bust. The game will come down to Kicking and Defense, and Mr. Fantasy thinks that C&D will be able to blow away the Point at these positions. C&D looks to go to almost .500 this week, when they beat the Point 105-87. I’ll see you losers next year at the draft.

Undertakers (-27) at Suicide Kings

Undertakers went on an end of season run to almost make the playoffs, but were eliminated by the Point when they could only muster 60 points in Week 16 thereby losing by 7. Suicide Kings have been on a 2 game losing streak, and it really looks like it is going to be a 3 game losing streak. Their players are all either hurt or going to be held out of the last weeks games. At QB, the position will probably be fairly even with Undertakers Favre going up against Kings KC QB’s. Due to injuries at the RB position for the Kings, the Undertakers should have the advantage. Same with the WR position, with the Kings probably not having Owens this week and Price is a bust lately with Bledsoe being oh so bad. Undertakers will win their final game to bring them just shy of a .500 record and the Kings will drop their third in a row, when the Undertakers win 87-60. Just to keep the Undertakers going for the offseason, they should now officially be known as the Underpants and dirty ones at that.

Mighty Caesars (-4) at Show Me the Money

As mentioned earlier, this is a very critical game for Show Me. They must win to have a chance at the playoffs and they gotta hope that the Jags beat TNT. But their chances of winning maybe kind of slim against the Caesar Salad’s. Due to injuries at their positions, Show Me is kinda up the creek this week. Looking over the Rosters, the Caesars on paper should blow away Show Me this week. Because of this, I will not waste much time on this game, except to say that I hope Goydish likes his #6 pick next year, cause HE AIN’T GONNA MAKE THE PLAYOFFS. Of course, he should provide a key to his office because the six of us who do make the playoffs would like to draft in his office and then leave our empties for him to clean up in the morning. So long Ted and Mike, see you guys at next years draft. Loser of this game is buying the beer for next year and if Harvey is there (Wiz Bang Gang) then you better double up the booze order.

TBFC (+118) at Dragon Slayers

Let me start off by saying, that it sure is real fucking sad to see last years champs as the worst overall team, NOT. Smitty and Mike, YOUR TEAM SUX AND HAS SUCKED ALL YEAR. YOU CAN’T DRAFT, YOUR FREE AGENT MOVES SUCK, AND YOUR TRADES SUCK. You only got lucky last year, and quite frankly, I don’t expect to see you in the playoffs for at least another 3 years. Again, I don’t want to hear about your fucking team name on the trophy, cause your team sucks this year. HAVE FUN SITTING AT HOME WHILE THE REST OF US ARE DRAFTING NEXT FRIDAY, YOU STUPID FUCKS. Oh yeah, and did you notice you are 118 point underdogs? That is the largest point spread in league history. Actually, all kidding aside, cause Smitty is the man with his write-ups and his wise cracks, Mr. Fantasy really doesn’t think that TBFC has a chance this week. Slayers are just to strong at their positions, and it seems like TBFC can never get the right fucking QB in from week to week. While it would be funny if Smitty lost by 1 point for a fourth time this year, the cards say he is BLOWN FUCKING OUT by the Slayers. Final Score: Slayers 120 and TBFC 2.

 

So long all you miserable fucks who are missing the playoffs. I for one have enjoyed this year as I beat most of you jerkoffs and helped contribute to knocking you out of the playoffs. See ya next year!

Love,

The Semolina Pilchards